Your best friend is dating the girl you like
As a straight woman with a lot of straight male best friends I don't harbor any romantic feelings for, I've always been confused by how people manage to transition platonic friendships into relationships. I mean, what happens to your dynamic when you go from buds who gab about your respective lives to being each other's love lives? How much does a relationship change when you start dating your best friend? In a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, real ladies share how their relationships changed when they started dating their BFFs. Read along and learn from their experiences. After reading the experiences of these women it becomes clear that taking the plunge and dating your best friend is, indeed, a big risk.
What if I don't like the person my best friend is dating?
Having a friend date your crush can be a difficult social situation to navigate. With your feelings, as well as those of your friend and your crush on the line, it can be extremely difficult to be sure what the right course of action is to take. Crush Heartbreak. Learn more. There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Method 1. Talk to your friend and try to appreciate his or her position. Your friend may have genuine feelings for your crush that seem to be reciprocated.
If they really are your friend, you should want to see things work out for them one way or another. If your friend has strong feelings for your crush and you interfere, you risk ending your friendship. Does your crush seem to truly care about your friend? Are there any signs that he or she may have been interested in you? Be honest with yourself about your feelings for your crush. There are many different kinds of crushes one can have on another person.
How deep are your feelings for your crush? How well do you know him or her? If you have strong feelings you fear you may not be able to push aside, you may want to tell them the truth. If you are uncertain about your feelings, take a step back and give yourself some time. Infatuation and love are different emotions that feel very similar. Infatuation often occurs when you are caught up in the excitement of meeting a person you like, but the feelings often lack longevity.
Decide whether to tell them. You may feel the right thing to do is to tell them both the truth about your feelings, or you may think it best that you keep them to yourself. If you decide to tell them how you feel, consider talking to your friend about it first. Depending on the situation, your friend may understand and step aside. Prepare yourself for things to go poorly if you choose to be honest. While everything may work out, you also run the risk of losing a friend and still not being able to date your crush.
Remember to be sensitive to their feelings as well as your own in your decision. Method 2. Remember that you have value. Find an outlet for your feelings. Find an outlet that you can use to safely express your feelings without any social fallout or embarrassment. Get your feelings out in words to help you better understand and cope with them.
If you feel like you need to cry, you should. Letting it out can make you feel much better and release tension that has built up throughout your interactions with your friend and crush. Dancing, exercising, drawing or any number of other things can serve as a creative way to express your emotions. Keep trying until you find one that fits you. They can also lead to addiction and serious health issues. Eating fattening foods and not getting any exercise can make you feel worse instead of better.
Look to other friends for support. Having a shoulder to cry on or a friendly ear to vent to can make a huge difference in how you feel when going through a difficult romantic situation. Method 3. Make the conscious decision to start working on being happy again and take your happiness seriously. When you feel yourself starting to get down, force yourself to think about something different. Take control of your life. One of the hardest parts about rejection or not being with the person we care about is the feeling of helplessness it can create.
Take control back from that feeling of helplessness by taking charge of your life and your actions. Make healthy choices to double up on the positivity gained through taking charge of your life. Choose to eat better, go for a run or something else that benefits you. Open yourself up to new romantic opportunities.
Once you are feeling more like yourself again, it may be time to get back on the dating scene. Try to meet some new people and even go on some dates. While you may not find the right person right away, you may find that you enjoy the process and the opportunities it presents. Making some new friends could do just fine. Be kind to your friend and old crush. Take your time. Remember that friendships are valuable.
Treat each of them with kindness and there may come a day when things can go back to how they once were for each of you. Remember that holding on to negative feelings hurts you more than anyone else. My crush asked me out and I told him that I couldn't date him because my friend liked him. Now I'm starting to regret it. What do I do? If your friend has not decided to date your crush, you may want to consider discussing it with them. They may understand if you would like to pursue a relationship.
Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to friendships, and that's especially true for difficult situations like this one. Yes No. Not Helpful 7 Helpful What if my friend is constantly talking about my crush and shares details about their relationship that I don't want to hear? If you are uncomfortable with what your friend is sharing about their relationship with your crush, politely ask them not to share so much.
If you are uncomfortable explaining exactly why, you might just suggest that you don't enjoy discussing relationships. Not Helpful 17 Helpful My best friend is dating my crush. Now she's asking me to give her advice about their relationship. If it is upsetting you when your friend asks you for advice about your crush, you should let her know. If you aren't comfortable explaining the reasons why, simply tell her that you aren't the right person to be asking and you'd rather she found someone else to talk about it with.
Your friend should appreciate that you're uncomfortable with the situation and stop involving you. Not Helpful 12 Helpful The best way to deal with situations like this is to approach your friend and discuss it with them honestly. If your friend would do such a thing, they likely aren't really your friend. Chances are better that your friend isn't aware of your feelings. Not Helpful 11 Helpful If they break up, consider asking your friend if he or she would mind if you asked your crush out.
If your friend understands, you may be able to date your crush without causing any problems between you and your friend. If not, you will need to consider whether or not you are willing to go against your friend's wishes. Not Helpful 14 Helpful You may need to create some distance between you in order to move on yourself. That may require limiting your communication with each of them until you feel as though you're ready to interact with them once again.
Remember that your feelings matter, so separating yourself for your own well being is perfectly appropriate. Not Helpful 15 Helpful What if you asked out your crush and they said they weren't ready to date, but then your friend convinces your crush to go out with them? Your crush may genuinely want to date your friend, and if you care about your crush's feelings you may want to step back and allow them to see where their relationship goes.
If you feel as though your friend has betrayed your trust, talk to him or her about your feelings. He or she may not have known their actions would affect you in a negative way. Not Helpful 23 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. Edit Related wikiHows. Crush Heartbreak In other languages: Did this article help you? Cookies make wikiHow better.
There will be many people telling you things like “if you love her you should want her to be happy, even if it is someone else” and “you can't tell anyone not to. Having a friend date your crush can be a difficult social situation to navigate. If they really are your friend, you should want to see things work out for them one way or another. Consider what's best for your crush. .. http://www. souvenirs-tut.com
Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. Republish our articles for free, online or in print, under Creative Commons licence.
Having a friend date your crush can be a difficult social situation to navigate. With your feelings, as well as those of your friend and your crush on the line, it can be extremely difficult to be sure what the right course of action is to take.
Tracee Dunblazier. Not everyone will like you, but some will adore you beyond words. So, when it comes to making friends with, connecting to, or tolerating your friends mate:
How Does The Relationship Change When You Start Dating Your Best Friend? 11 Women Explain
It all comes down to how your friend feels about it. You were a good friend and kept your feelings to yourself for long enough. It was a mutual breakup with no hard feelings. This is the ideal situation. Go ahead and ask him out. Just ask her.
It's better than Tinder!
Could such a creature really exist? Yes, she can. The problem? Your best friend feels the same way about her. This uncomfortable situation is one of those special cases that can happen at any age, during any part of your life. While this is more likely to happen during your high-school or college years, it can just as easily happen in your 30s, 40s, or 50s with a work colleague or mutual friend, with the same reaction at every stage: If you feel like you should do the chivalrous thing and step aside to let your friend win the girl, you might be surprised to know that it may not be what the girl or your friend wants. So what should you do?
The answer is easy: Next question?
WTF are they thinking? So get out a pen and paper. Is this new SO a freeloader? Flirting with other people?
What to Do If Your Best Friend Starts Dating Your Crush
I'm in a situation, and I just have absolutely no idea what to do! I would greatly appreciate your help as this is just eating me up. My best friend T and I have known each other since high school just over 12 years now and have been super close ever since. When we met, I was dating one of his best mates, but when we broke up T and I continued to constantly hang out. We have both been moving around the world separately during the last few years, but every time we finally get to meet again and catch up it feels like the world stops sorry for the cheesiness! He is one of the very few people I feel like I can relax with, and he means the world to me. Almost every time we hang out, we always end up sleeping together not having sex, nor making out , just lying there holding each other in our underwear. I always figured we just had a very close friendship, but lately, I've realized that I've always felt more. Since high school, my friends have told me that T has had a crush on me, but I never took it seriously as I thought they were just messing with me. During the last few years, I feel like he has hinted it but has never actually clearly said anything to me about it. For example — taking care of me when I'm sick, telling me I'm the best person in the world, wanting to hold me a lot, telling me I'm beautiful, his favorite person, etc. For the last two years he has been dating a girl, let's call her Anna, but every time I ask about her or her name comes up he has just been telling me that its nothing serious, that he's not interested in her, and that he wants to end it.
Ask Erin: I'm In Love With My Best Friend, But He Has A Girlfriend; What Do I Do?
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Several years ago, I started dating my best friend. At the time, it made perfect sense. We were inseparable, we had so much in common, we were extremely close, and when we realized we had feelings for each other that surpassed being just friends, it seemed almost silly not to date each other. Especially since we were both single and had been single for awhile — a factor that we didn't take into consideration as something that was weighing heavily on our decision. Needless to say, it didn't work out. And, in the process, we lost each other.
Falling in love with your best friend is a very common tale. Now you want to know how to make her fall in love with you. When it comes to getting a girl to fall in love with you, creating an emotional connection and a sense of trust and safety are the hardest things to do. What you need to do now is change the dynamic of your relationship, moving from trusted friend to the type of man she can see herself having passion with. What this means is that you need to stop being there for all her emotional needs. But how to flirt? How do you do that?
If you've used the phrase "Oh, he's just my friend! Dating your best friend may seem intimidating, but it can also be the best decision of your life. My now-husband and I both involved ourselves with many different romantic relationships before giving our friendship a shot at something else, and I feel like if I didn't consider dating my best friend , my life would be drastically different and probably way sad. It's because you've already labeled him or her as something else. The most attractive qualities in another human, I've learned, is the barrage of support they have given you throughout your life, as well as the years of history between the two of you.WHEN YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON YOUR BESTFRIEND